Jackson Skane is a youth ambassador to Northeast Arc’s Board of Directors and an autism advocate. In the latest entry in his blog series, Jackson writes about the challenges he has faced in school, and how he has perservered and found success.
Throughout my autism journey, I have been privileged to share my gratitude with schools that have helped me along the way. Being in school as an autistic person can be overwhelming at times due to the uncertainty of new events. However, it is truly about the people you are surrounded by and the support they can offer. While at school, I have had some experiences that have been bad but also ones that have been good. This is why I am so excited to share with you all my journey in school from where it started to where I am now.
Preschool
When I first started preschool at Riverside Elementary School, I was always in a special education classroom with students who had autism or other disabilities. While in pre-school, I also had speech, social work, Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) therapy, and occupational therapy in and outside of school. In my first year of preschool, I remember struggling in this classroom setting because I had echolalia which meant I would repeat prior things and actions done by other people. Because of this, I would repeat many behaviors of the other students in my class which meant that I would mimic behaviors that I shouldn’t be doing.Because of that, the school decided to allow me to go into the regular classroom for one hour of each school day. Even though I could not always be in the regular classroom, it allowed me enough time to be included in some of the learning. I remember always loving when I got the opportunity to be in the regular classroom because I got to meet even more kids and teachers
Finally, in my third year of preschool, I was always in the regular classroom while still being pulled out for things like social work, speech, and ABA therapy. I finally started talking more at this point and I was getting invited to birthday parties of my classmates and that made me so excited. I never felt too judged by any of the students and no one was mean to me at this point. Preschool helped me learn how to start interacting with other students and helped me go from being nonverbal to verbal.
Transition from Preschool to Elementary School
When my parents attended my last Individualized Education Program (IEP) meeting before going into elementary school, the meeting went differently from what my parents expected. During the meeting, the staff who had worked with me at Riverside Elementary School told my parents that I needed to be put into a special education classroom for kindergarten and that I needed to stay at Riverside. This meant that I would not have been able to go to the elementary school I was assigned to as well as being held back into a special education classroom.
While the special education setting works for some students with disabilities, it does not work for all students with disabilities. One issue was that the staff had assumed that because I had autism I needed to be in a special education classroom, but my parents knew that it would not benefit me. My parents immediately advocated for me to attend Great Oak Elementary School because that was the school I was assigned to as well as knowing it would best help me grow. The staff at the IEP meeting then explained that Great Oak never had an “autistic” student and that they would not be able to handle me. However, there probably were other students who had gone to Great Oak with autism that were not diagnosed.
Luckily, after my parents fought hard for my education, I was able to attend Great Oak Elementary School that fall where I started kindergarten. Even when talking with my parents about that IEP meeting, I always think of how grateful I am to them for fighting for me and pushing the boundaries that many of my preschool teachers wanted to keep me in.
Kindergarten
When coming into elementary school, I had some familiar faces from preschool that were also going to Great Oak. This helped me with my transition because I knew some people rather than no one. However, one thing that I wasn’t expecting was how many times I would be pulled out of the classroom. Especially in kindergarten, I was being pulled out multiple times a day because I would go receive my other services which helped but made me feel out of sorts when I would come back to class.
I also only made two friends when I was in kindergarten and had them as my only two friends until third grade. I was so appreciative to have found these two friends because they made me feel seen and were people I could always have a good time with. Even though all of us were disliked by some of our classmates, we never let that bother us and always embraced our inner weirdness.
Another interesting thing is that my social group in kindergarten included other students with and without disabilities. Even now, this is great in schools because it allows students to learn from each other but also be supportive of those with different needs. I am especially grateful to my ABA therapist who worked with me up until kindergarten because I grew so much with her help and my family keeps in contact with her to this day.
Second Grade
2nd Grade was a big part of my journey with autism because something very important happened that changed the trajectory of my life. This was the first time I had been bullied in my life. Even though I had kids in the past making comments like “You sound like a girl” there was nothing ever as extreme as this.
I was sadly bullied on numerous occasions, but I didn’t understand that what was happening was bullying. At the time, I was more severely autistic than I am now and did not understand all the social interactions around me. However, I now look back on the moments I was bullied where two kids not only made fun of me, but they forced me to do unspeakable things for their amusement. Because of how severe the bullying was, I blocked that memory out of my brain and never want to think of it again. I wish I could go hug that little boy and tell him that everything will be alright in the long run. Thankfully, another student in my class had gone home and told their mom about what they witnessed the two bullies doing to me which then made her contact my mom.
The hardest thing for me to swallow is the fact that the adults around me did not stick up for me or report the bullying that they witnessed. I even remember a time when I didn’t want to hold hands with one of the students that bullied me and my teacher put me in a timeout for refusing. As much as being bullied in second grade traumatized me, it taught me the importance of standing up for myself and learning what bullying is. I also want to make sure that when I am a teacher, I can be an adult who reports any form of bullying that is witnessed rather than ignoring it.
Fifth Grade
Fifth grade was one of my favorite years in school. This was the year when I started to make more friends and become more social than I had been in the past. While I would get the occasional “you’re annoying Jackson” I really thrived in becoming more confident in who I was.
Not only was I better academically, but also with my services. At this point, I was no longer in ABA therapy, occupational therapy, or speech therapy but only had social work and reading and math intervention occasionally.
At this point, I felt like the king of the world and that I could do anything I dreamed of. Even my classmates around me made me feel so supported because they started to be much kinder to me, but it may have only been because I seemed more “normal” to them than before. This is important to highlight because I always like to tell people that you should never be mean or judgmental to someone who is different. Instead, we need to be kind to everyone no matter what the circumstance.
Middle School
You can imagine how scared I was going into middle school due to my nerves about change. When going to middle school, I was worried what the students coming from the other elementary schools would think of me and if they would judge me. However, another worry of mine was that I did not want to be called out when being pulled from the classroom. It was something I started to vocalize more about in fifth grade and I wanted to keep vocalizing that at middle school too.
When I started sixth grade, I struggled with having a different teacher every hour of the day instead of one all day. This made it difficult to build relationships with my teachers and I felt too nervous to advocate for what I needed. Staying after school was a game changer for me because it helped me stay at the same pace as the rest of my classmates while also providing me with the opportunity to speak up for the help I needed that I did not want to address in class.
One thing I remember I did not like was one time, in sixth grade, I had one of my teachers in gym class go on a microphone and make an announcement about me. This announcement entailed that I needed to go meet with the school social worker and rather than pulling me aside, the teacher announced it in front of my whole class of 60-70 students. Luckily, my parents spoke with the school about this not happening again and it didn’t thankfully. Through this, I learned that it is important for students to let teachers know what they are and are not comfortable with being shared with the class.
Another part of middle school that was hard for me was my teachers making assumptions that I always needed help. Especially in eighth grade, I remember a co-teacher in one of my classes going up to the student next to me saying “Thank you so much for helping him, he really needed it.” When I heard her say that I felt so defeated. I was just doing partner work with my friend and the teacher gave the credit to my friend for “helping” me. It’s important to never assume that people with disabilities need your help because there may be times where they want to be independent.
High School
High school was another transition I was worried about and that was because I was going to a technical school with students from 50 towns in Massachusetts. I had to go into this school with few friends and no idea what to expect. I was very excited though to have a fresh start because of how much bullying I went through in my original school district
Immediately, I felt right at home when I came into Essex Tech. The students all had unique interests, and they all wanted to be at school to further their careers. Even the special education services were great and the adults who worked with me respected my boundaries and understood what I did and did not want to be addressed about my struggles in front of the class. One thing I especially loved at Essex Tech was how half of the classes were co-taught. This helped make me feel more comfortable in my classes because less students could tell who those co-teachers were there to focus on, and it made the learning environment feel more inclusive.
However, the best part of high school was my amazing dental assisting teachers. These women took me under their wing right from the start of my high school years and I still talk to them now. When I picked dental assisting as my program to study for four years, I was super excited but also very nervous because the program seemed fast paced. Luckily, I had the most amazing teachers who took time to make sure I could always catch up on work, even if it meant staying after school. Because of their help, I became a huge success in my program and was even able to land an incredible internship at a dental office. Without these women, I would not be where I am today.
Applying to College
Applying to college was something I wasn’t that nervous about, but I didn’t want to get accepted for being autistic. I very much wanted to steer away from using the “autism” card because I do not like being defined by my disability. Ironically, I did end up doing my college essay on the discovery of my diagnosis. I discussed how me finding out about my autism led me to so many new opportunities and how I embrace my autism.
I was nervous about going to college because of the transition. I knew that going into college, there would not be as many accessibility services. Therefore, it was vital that I could find a school that had services that could help me achieve my highest potential.
Ultimately, I got into the majority of schools I applied to and ended up picking Endicott College for various reasons. One was the amazing education program that is offered because you get to do an internship during each year. And secondly, because of the community at Endicott. I get to meet a new person every day and have even made so many friends at Endicott.
Facing Adversity in The First Semester
Many freshmen coming into college have a rocky transition. However, for individuals with disabilities, it can be even more difficult. I was super nervous about leaving my family because they are the most supportive people in my life and I have never lived without them. Another thing that I was super anxious about was having to share a room with someone. Having a roommate that I had never met was scary to me, but I was eager to try something new.
Little did I know I would have one of the toughest first semesters anyone has had to face. As excited as I was to have a roommate, it did not end up the way I had planned, and we are no longer roommates. I had no problems with my roommate, but he was not my biggest fan. As tough as it was to then move into a new dorm, I made it work. It did take a while to then adjust to another new space, but it ended up being even better than it was before.
Through my transition out of my old room, I grew so much as a person. I learned the importance of being kind to everyone, no matter who they are, and to never make judgements about anyone before you get to know them. In addition, I persevered more in the first 5 weeks of the first semester than I have throughout my entire life. Lastly, I hope that anyone who struggles in college with any challenges in their first semester can understand that you are not alone and that you should lean into the people who care the most about you.
Conclusion
I hope that this blog post helped you all understand more about the experiences that school and college have played in my life. Although I have faced adversity in both, I have also preserved and become a better version of myself. If any of you have been through similar struggles or want to share your experiences in school and college, feel free to email me at jacksonskane@gmail.com to share your stories.