Keisha Greaves is the founder of Girls Chronically Rock, an adaptive fashion consultant, and a self-advocate. In a new blog series, Keisha will share her story, as well as her perspective on key issues for the disability community. In this entry, Keisha writes about the language of disability. If you haven’t done so, consider reading her previous post on ableism.
Language is powerful. It shapes how we see ourselves, how others see us, and how society understands disability. But for far too long, disability has been treated like a “dirty word”, something people tiptoe around, avoid saying, or replace with well-meaning but ultimately problematic euphemisms.
As someone living with a disability, I’ve experienced firsthand how language can either empower or erase us. That’s why it’s so important to talk about how we describe disability, the different ways people identify, and why there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to language.
How Do You Speak About Your Disability?
For me, speaking about my disability is not about shame, it’s about ownership. I have Limb-Girdle Muscular Dystrophy, and I say that with confidence. It’s part of who I am, part of my story, and part of why I do the work I do. But that wasn’t always the case.
When I was first diagnosed, I hesitated to even say the word “disability.” It felt too heavy, too limiting. I worried that calling myself disabled would define me in a negative way or make people see me differently. I saw how people reacted when I mentioned it, sometimes with pity, sometimes with discomfort, and other times with dismissive comments like, “You don’t look disabled.” That kind of response made me hesitant to claim the word at first.
But over time, I realized that my disability isn’t something to hide, it’s something to embrace. It’s part of my identity, and it has shaped the way I navigate the world, advocate for change, and connect with an incredible community.
One moment that really stood out to me was when I was invited to speak at an event about disability advocacy. As I introduced myself and proudly used the word “disabled,” I noticed a shift in the room. Some people seemed surprised, as if they weren’t expecting me to say it so directly. Others nodded in agreement, clearly recognizing the importance of claiming our identity. That was a turning point for me, I realized that by using the word confidently, I was not only affirming my own identity but also encouraging others to embrace theirs.
Disability Is Not a “Dirty Word”
One of the biggest barriers to disability inclusion is the way people avoid saying “disability” altogether. I can’t tell you how many times someone has tried to use alternative phrases like:
- “Differently-abled”
- “Special needs”
- “Handi-capable”
I understand that these words often come from a good place, people want to be respectful, and they think they’re being positive. But here’s the thing: there is nothing wrong with the word “disability.”
Avoiding the word only reinforces the idea that disability is something negative, something that needs to be softened or disguised. But disability is just a fact of life for millions of people, including me. It’s not a bad word. It’s not an insult. And when we refuse to say it, we make it harder to have real conversations about accessibility, inclusion, and rights.
Person-First vs. Identity-First Language
One of the biggest debates in disability language is whether to use person-first language (“a person with a disability”) or identity-first language (“a disabled person”).
There’s no universal rule, and different people prefer different things. It’s all about personal choice and respect.
Person-First Language (“Person with a Disability”)
Person-first language emphasizes that someone is a person before anything else. It’s meant to separate the person from their disability so that they aren’t defined by it.
For example:
- “A person with muscular dystrophy” instead of “a muscular dystrophy person.”
- “A person who uses a wheelchair” instead of “a wheelchair-bound person.”
This approach is often encouraged in medical and professional spaces.
Identity-First Language (“Disabled Person”)
Identity-first language embraces disability as part of a person’s identity. Many people in the disability community (myself included) prefer identity-first language because it acknowledges that disability is an integral part of who we are.
For example:
- “Disabled person” instead of “person with a disability.”
- “Autistic person” instead of “person with autism.”
The best appproach? Ask! The simplest way to know what language to use is to ask the person how they want to be identified. Respect their choice. Language is personal, and what works for one person might not work for another.
Media Representation: How Language Shapes Perception
The way disability is portrayed in the media plays a huge role in shaping public attitudes. Too often, disabled characters are either:
- Inspirational tropes – The “overcoming the odds” story that focuses on how brave and strong we are for simply existing.
- Tragic figures – The portrayal that focuses on suffering, making disability seem like a fate worse than death.
- Villains – How many times have you seen a character with a scar, limp, or visible disability cast as the “evil mastermind?”
While representation is improving, we still have a long way to go. Authentic representation means showing disabled people as fully developed characters, not just as symbols of inspiration or tragedy.
One show that gets it right is Speechless, which featured a main character with cerebral palsy played by a disabled actor, Micah Fowler. It wasn’t about pity, it was about real, messy, everyday life. More shows and movies need to follow that lead.
Practical Ways to Promote Respectful Disability Language
If you want to be a better ally, here are some ways to ensure your language is respectful and inclusive:
- Use “disability” confidently. Don’t hesitate to say it, it’s not a bad word.
- Avoid euphemisms. “Differently-abled” and “special needs” are well-intended but can feel dismissive.
- Listen to disabled voices. Follow disabled activists, writers, and organizations.
- Correct misconceptions. If someone says “wheelchair-bound” or “suffers from,” gently explain why it’s outdated.
- Educate within your circles. Share what you learn with friends, family, and colleagues.
- Push for authentic media representation. Support shows and movies that hire disabled actors and tell real stories.
- Advocate for inclusive language in workplaces and schools. Language policies should be shaped with disabled people at the table.
Final Thoughts: Changing the Way We Talk About Disability
Language is always evolving, and so is the way we talk about disability. The key is to lead with respect, empowerment, and inclusion.
At the end of the day, how we talk about disability shapes how we think about disability. And for me, the goal is always to create a world where we don’t shy away from disability, we embrace it.
Because when we embrace the word “disability,” we embrace the people who live with it every day.
So, let’s start talking about disability with confidence, respect, and pride. Because disability is not a bad word. It’s just part of who we are.